“50 Shades of Grey” Exposed

Don’t mess with my Mommy porn

I know I’m going to offend some people (sorry!) and get flame mail about this (ouch!)…but I’m going to post it anyway.  I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately, trying to figure out cyberspace when I stumbled across this person who just WENT OFF about “50 Shades of Grey” being immoral and unchristian.   Please don’t hate me for saying this…

It’s fantasy.

That’s it.  Kind of lame prose (Holy Cow!  My Inner Goddess did a tango to the kitchen and baked a soufflé!) wedged in between some really hot sex scenes.

Men get to relax to tons of fantasy movies, magazines and TV shows and I’m not referring to something as blatant as Playboy either.    I’m talking “Wolverine” and “Entourage.”  Is it unchristian to watch 800 people get murdered as a form of entertainment in the war montage sequence of “Origins: Wolverine?”  Some might say so, but most of us say:  “Cool special effects with the werewolf nails.”  No one seems to be asking them, “What would Jesus think?”

Let’s look at the plot of series finale of “Entourage,” for example (spoiler alert!)  Movie star bad boy gets away with breaking his parole (what a close call!) and confirms to his friend that he’s not really addicted, so smoking pot is ok.  His friend, Turtle, is sad because he lost money in an investment deal, but no big deal after all!  Movie star gives Turtle his share of the stock, worth over a million dollars.  Workaholic agent says he’s sorry for his inattentive ways and his wife takes him back (after he sleeps with the other chick he always kinda liked anyway…but it’s all good- other chick is totally cool with him going back to wifey.)  No-talent brother gets cast in lead role.  Manager’s girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/fiancée/ex-fiancée takes him back as they get on their private jet in designer clothes to go to exotic places.  Movie star bad boy known for being a player meets a smart, talented, sexy journalist and after one interview decides that they will get married.   She’s totally cool with this too.  Every man gets laid, paid, and their wives all stayed.  Male.  Fantasy.  Galore.

So back off my damn Mommy Porn!  It’s pretty much just a giant female fantasy that will never happen either.

Billionaire Christian (ha ha) Grey falls in lust with Anastasia Steele, a 21 year old virgin (ha ha,) and even though he only has non-touching sadomasochist relationships he will make an exception for Ana because she is special.  He always pays complete attention to her, buys her expensive clothes and gifts (which she politely rejects then keeps,) takes her to fabulous locations in his private jet, yacht and/or sports car, and will agree to all her terms of the relationship because he loves her that much.  He refuses to have her sign a pre-nup.  He tells her to eat more (!)  Sex is always fun and exciting, he is hot even waking up, has ripped muscles, and did I mention the onsite cook?

Well, tie me up and call me a submissive; I want that!

I think women today are stressed out with work, kids, and everything else in between and it’s a nice escape to get lost in a story where someone else handles absolutely everything and all you have to do is relax and enjoy the ride.

And speaking of relaxing, I’m off to see a movie my 74 year old mother just recommended: “Magic Mike.”  She didn’t tell me the plot; she just said to see it with my girlfriends and not Henri.  Hmm…

Sheslosingit.net (c) 2012 Lisa Traugott.  All rights reserved.  No portion of this blog, including any text, photographs, and artwork, may be reproduced or copied without written permission.

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