I hate treadmills. Maybe because they are boring. Maybe because I know I’ll get called out if I get caught reading a book instead of diligently focusing on sweating. Maybe because I have tragic memories of wiping out on one in a trendy LA gym surrounded by super model types. (For real. Read here: Epic Fail.)
Whatever the case, whenever I’m on the treadmill I’m pretty bored. So I people watch. I’ve gone to a lot of gyms in several states and after awhile you notice some similar cast of characters. Here are my favorites, in no particular order:
Hi! I’m Single! Hi I’m Single likes to come to the gym in full make-up and super cute clothes and doesn’t really lift weights or exercise but does ask the hottest guy in the weight section to “spot” her when she lifts the little pink dumbbells. When I was in my 20’s and unhitched, Hi I’m Single annoyed the living s*** out of me. But now that I’m a middle aged married chick I just think it’s cute and I giggle at her antics.
Profuse Sweater Dude. Everyone sweats at the gym; that’s sort of the point. I’m talking PROFUSE sweating, where it looks like he dumped buckets of water on the Stair Master. If the dude wipes down everything with towels then I don’t really mind, but if he just leaves it like that I feel icky even being near the machine.
I’m Only Here Because My Doctor Is Making Me. I’m Only Here Because My Doctor Is Making Me views the gym as punishment. He typically has a pot belly, will read a magazine while sitting (and not peddling) on a stationary bike and does one (1) set of two (2) reps on several machines and then leave.
There are lots more, but I’m supposed to be working right now….
Who’s your favorite gym prototype?
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