People Watching at the Gym

treadmill minute  I hate treadmills.  Maybe because they are boring.  Maybe because I know I’ll get called out if I get caught reading a book instead of diligently focusing on sweating.  Maybe because I have tragic memories of wiping out on one in a trendy LA gym surrounded by super model types.  (For real.  Read here:  Epic Fail.)

Whatever the case, whenever I’m on the treadmill I’m pretty bored.  So I people watch.  I’ve gone to a lot of gyms in several states and after awhile you notice some similar cast of characters.  Here are my favorites, in no particular order:

Hi! I’m Single!  Hi I’m Single likes to come to the gym in full make-up and super cute clothes and doesn’t really lift weights or exercise but does ask the hottest guy in the weight section to “spot” her when she lifts the little pink dumbbells.  When I was in my 20’s and unhitched, Hi I’m Single annoyed the living s*** out of me.  But now that I’m a middle aged married chick I just think it’s cute and I giggle at her antics.hope-months-starvation-seasonal-ecard-someecards

Profuse Sweater Dude.  Everyone sweats at the gym; that’s sort of the point.  I’m talking PROFUSE sweating, where it looks like he dumped buckets of water on the Stair Master.  If the dude wipes down everything with towels then I don’t really mind, but if he just leaves it like that I feel icky even being near the machine.exhausted-yearly-gym-new-years-encouragement-ecards-someecards

I’m Only Here Because My Doctor Is Making Me.  I’m Only Here Because My Doctor Is Making Me views the gym as punishment.  He typically has a pot belly, will read a magazine while sitting (and not peddling) on a stationary bike and does one (1) set of two (2) reps on several machines and then leave.

There are lots more, but I’m supposed to be working right now….

Who’s your favorite gym prototype?

Lisa (c) 2013 Lisa Traugott.  All rights reserved.  No portion of this blog, including any text, photographs, and artwork, may be reproduced or copied without written permission.

25 responses to “People Watching at the Gym

  1. I like “I grunt while lifting heavy things, but it sounds kind of sexual” – I never know whether to laugh or cry….but I can never look away!!

  2. The Barbie girls. You know, the women who come in who look like they just spent an hour having their makeup done at Sephora/Macy’s/etc and proceed to get on the treadmill/bike/elliptical and chat to their boyfriend/husband/BFF about how *hard* they are working out. Drives me bananas. I understand coming in after work and still having makeup on, but looking like you just got done up to go workout makes me crazy!

  3. I couldn’t agree more! My personal favourite? The competers. They get on the machine next to you and obsessively look at your machine to see how fast you’re going/your level, then try to out-do you. I’m there to work on my own fitness, not compete with somebody else!

  4. The innapropriately loud people who want the whole gym to know what they had for breakfast, lunch, and tea! Drives me banana’s! I used to give names to all the gym people who used to be there in the morning when I went. I had super fit slim couple, Ripped nerdy guy, Buff grandpa’s who only use the weight’s and hour long runner girl! LOL! I love people watching and I always wondered what name they’d give me!

    • OMG – I’m so glad you do this too! I have specific names for the people I watch at my main gym, but since a lot of people there read my blog I can’t be too specific. My friend, Kelly, and I also wondered what our name might be to other people.

  5. Super sweaty people or even non sweaty people who don’t wipe down machines KILL ME. I’ve taken to wiping down my machines before and after. And I won’t touch my face until I wash my hands. I don’t have a germ problem.

  6. Hahaha. SOOO true. I also love the new years resolutioners that are gone by march. If you stick it out til June you have my respect. Also the girls who walk on the treadmill while drinking a giant starbucks frappe. Counter productive much?

  7. Bounce around barbies…full make up, cute outfit, tight body but never actually work out.
    Rico Suave – The guy that wears jewelry, little shorts and thinks he is God’s gift to women…I love it when I pick up dumb bells heavier than the ones he is lifting with.
    The Power Couple – The super fit couple that works out together
    The thinks she’s still a teenager – the mom/over 30 woman in tight bright clothes with knee socks.

  8. My gym has the the “bobsy” twins. Two girls who wanna be figure competitors but are really just rather large girls. They know everything about everything and critique everyone else. I have called them that for almost a year, and laughed my butt off when I found out its exactly what my buddies referred to them as well!

  9. Oh…I love “I’m going to talk on the phone while you wait” girl. They are the ones lounging on various equipment, barely moving and talk, talk, talk, talk…lol
    I’m usually standing there waiting because I’ve seen several others circling the area. I used to get mad because I would lose my momentum, now I simply ask them to move. Politely and with a smile of course! 😉 (I wouldn’t want to be rude! lol)

  10. I like the ones where people read a book on their stationary bike or treadmill at a constant pace. Now that’s boring and not challenging your body at all. Grrr

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